Loving Like Jesus When It Hurts

Heather Bradley
Oct 31
3 min read

The Real Test—Loving Like Jesus When It Hurts

Scripture: “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good…” — Romans 12:9–21 (ESV)

Have you ever had someone come against you for no reason? Maybe they misunderstood you, spoke against you, or treated you in a way that felt completely unfair. If so, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too—and to be honest, I didn’t always handle it the right way.

When people hurt us, our natural reaction is to defend ourselves, to prove our point, or even to distance ourselves. But Romans 12 gives us a completely different picture of how Christ-followers are meant to live. It’s a list of “marks” of a true believer—things like blessing those who persecute us, living peaceably with all, and not repaying evil for evil.

That’s not easy. In fact, it’s impossible without Jesus.

💬 It’s Not About People—It’s About Perspective

Ephesians 6:12 reminds us: “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness...”

That means people are not our real enemies. The enemy loves to use people—especially the ones closest to us—to distract, divide, and derail us from walking in love. But when we see past the flesh and recognize the real battle, we can respond differently.

It becomes less about revenge and more about revelation—God revealing what’s inside of us that still needs His healing touch.

🔥 Heaping Hot Coals

Romans 12:20 says that when we love and pray for our enemies, it’s “like heaping burning coals on their head.”

That doesn’t mean we’re getting revenge through kindness—it means our obedience allows God to work on their hearts while keeping ours pure. It’s a supernatural exchange: as we bless them, God fights for us.

I’ve had seasons where I prolonged my own pain because I let my flesh win. I stayed offended, replayed the conversations, and justified my feelings. But Jesus taught me that freedom doesn’t come from being right—it comes from being surrendered.

When I finally pressed in and worked it out with Him—His way, not mine—I found peace. The kind that truly sets you free.

❤️ A Mark of a Christ-Follower

Loving like Jesus is the true test. It’s not about pretending it didn’t hurt or forcing forgiveness. We can forgive and have boundaries up! Sometimes we have to separate ourselves from others. tIt's about letting the Holy Spirit change our hearts until love becomes our first response.

That’s when we begin to look more like Him. That’s when our faith becomes real.

🙏 Prayer

Jesus, this is hard. You know how deeply people can wound us, and yet You call us to love them anyway. Help me see past the flesh and recognize the real battle. Teach me how to respond in Your way, not mine. Heal my heart, purify my motives, and help me pass this test so I can walk in the true freedom You’ve already given me.Amen.